Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
