I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
