it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My vagina is officially offended.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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