I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
