you would pick up someone in the library
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
