Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
