Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize