Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
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