I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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