Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
