I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
