who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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