girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You were trust falling into bushes
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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