But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
