Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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