We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
