Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
