they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
