I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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