I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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