pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
