I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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