Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
