'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
