Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
