covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
