Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
