Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
