At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
