Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
