...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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