i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
