remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
