is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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