It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
