In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
