Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Come on in and take your pants off
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