I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
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