I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Boobs are out for the taking
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
