My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
