I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
he shaved USA in his pubs
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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