Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
