The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
