you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
