I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
