Is it normal to miss your booty call?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
