Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
