God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize
