I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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