Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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