so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
