Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
i believe in u and ur pee
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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