i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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